I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
