my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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