'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
