ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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