Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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