Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
