we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize