i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize