Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
