I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
