then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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