fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
