Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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