well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
