I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
