i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
