...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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