i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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