you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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