oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
