you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
