oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
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