he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
