also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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