going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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