my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
