How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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