My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
