what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
