This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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