the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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