You really coming over, don't trick.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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