hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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