@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
