I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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