i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
