Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
