All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
