He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
