I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
