I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm jealous of your bromance
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Randomize
