when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
