i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
