You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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