I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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