planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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