Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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