I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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