and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
