Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
As shirtless as possible
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
