That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
