its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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