Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize