just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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