with your own penis?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
