i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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