No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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