do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
