You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
porn star boner night. come get it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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