I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
