Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
