yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
