So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
