I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
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