Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
