Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
