tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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