I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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