I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
