She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize