maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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