I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Randomize
