We won't sleep together?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
