She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
