Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
