he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
