sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
