You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
this will be a night to untag.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
